A Vegan's Nightmare

As a professional traveler of sort, I do my homework before I board the plane to my far flung destination. The most important research is finding the best eats.

I will hunt and trek far and wide to experience life's greatest pleasure: masticating foreign comestibles.

I purposely go to Bologna, Italy just to taste the food to see if it's all that plus a bag of chips. This city is renowned and celebrated for its cuisine. The meat Bologna, Bolognese sauce (meat sauce), the Parmagiano Reggiano cheese, the different types of pastas are all produced from this little old city of Bologna. Needless to say, there are many fine dining establishments which I must partake and to spend a small fortune so that I am fully satisfied in knowing that my life purpose has been fulfilled.

Diana is a famous old restaurant which is a must-go-to. It is not trendy nor contemporary but a Bolognese Institution.

I am not looking for schnazzy hotspots where Italian fashionistas frequent. On the contrary, I am looking for a restaurant where the old school fine diner go to get their fill. Diana epitomizes classic traditionalism at its finest. The servers, all male, are dressed in impeccable white jacket with black slacks and black tie. They are older gentlemen who pride in their work and more than likely have been at it for decades and decades as Italians usually have one job for life.

The ambiance is genuine classic old school. There is a coat check where I don't need to lug my heavy winter coat. The furnishings and decor are veritable European. The table setting is class. Real heavy cotton linen with napkins to match. Fine sturdy plate and glass. Solid oversized silverware. A plate of assorted most whimsical shaped Italian bread awaits on my dining table.

My server, Franco, arrives with a big handsome looking menu. You open it and it's all in Italian. Good sign. This ain't no tourist joint. I'm here to order the most traditional dish from Bologna. So I order the boiled assorted meat and organ, aptly named the Bollito Misto. This feast of a dish is a carnivore's delight or a vegan's nightmare. The chef comes out with a rolling serving cart with a huge kitchen pot containing the assorted animal carcass. He dishes up snouts, tongues, and other assorted organs and animal meats. I think to myself as he lovingly puts a suspicious looking blob of gelatanous meat on my plate, "hmmm....this doesn't look so hard to make..dump recycled animal parts in big pot of boiling water. Serve."

After he departed with his creation on wheels, I spoon up some green sauce on my plate next to the bland looking pale meats. "Okie dokie..let's try Miss Piggy's nose." I cut a bite size piece, tine in meat, raise fork and insert food in mouth. What happened after that unforgettable. The flavor was overwhelming! It's not a salt or sweet or tart issue. It's an intensity issue. That was one fucking strong tasting meat! Last time I had to actually remove food from my mouth was eating sausage meat in the former Soviet Union. These meats are not rancid nor bad...it's extremely strong and intense in its flavor. A definite acquired taste. I'd describe it as the pungency of strong body odor. Granted, the regular meats ie. non organs, are fine and tasty especially with their assorted sauces.

I'm satisfied. I came, I order, I ate. My job is done.