Potluck Party Poopers

I suppose I should be grateful to be considered as a guest when invited to a party. Any party.

However, I 'm annoyed as parties these days are by far...potluck.

To me, a party means the following:

1. I don't have to cook.

2. Someone will cook for me.

3. I don't have to do the dishes.

4. Someone will do the dishes.

5. I can dress up nicely and have a good time.

6. I can eat other people's cooking.

7. I don't have to cook.

8. Someone will cook for me.

9. I don't have to do the dishes.

10. Someone will do the dishes.

Selfish, you sigh? Ain't gonna deny that!

Let's face it, as a guest your goal is to have fun and look good. That's your role as an invite; a fixture to fill the room symbolizing the host's popularity and clout in having so many friends come to his party. Truthfully, the majority of people want free food. Human beings are just elevated rats. They will congregate where the buffet of food happens to be. It's that simple and clear.

Also, another thing that irks me, people tend to bring the cheapest badass food at potlucks: the $4.99 cookie pack, the tired looking cheese and cracker platter, or the standard pasta salad.

Lastly, the unattractive hodge podge of different serving plates. Some people don't even take out the Colonel's fried chicken from the paper bucket! At least put it on something attractive to offset the cheap and cheesiness, will ya?!?! Or how about the moron that provides a personal size something...assuming if EVERYONE provides a personal something....each and every guest would have enough to eat! It doesn't work this way, if Sue Ling brings a plate of 15 potstickers, that means only 15 people each get one. What...there's no seconds? Or how about this one, everyone pretty much brings the same kind of food, ie. 8 different kind of desserts, 5 total pasta and rice dishes, 3veggie dip platter. It's just too random.

I don't want to have to get dressed up, buy a hostess gift, cook or buy the food, haul it in my car in hopes there's no spillage, walk to the party carrying the tupperware in high heels, and after the party, lug that DIRTY tupperware back to my car. Think I'll just stay in and eat leftover Chinese.

I apologize to those who have invited me to their potluck and have lied in order not to participate in your cheapass party...if ever you decide to have some style and be nice to your friends, don't forget me. I would love to come eat your free food .